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    September 08

    也许我就是这样的人,对不起

        就在昨天,有个人对我说......
        你经常说你不会拥有你想要的归程,你只是在生命的历程中不断的寻找生命的意义;可是你总是在自己的梦境中一次次地将那以往的逝去的美好想起,可是你总是自己欺骗自己说你没有所谓的记忆。你拒绝回到过去的梦境,只是因为有些事你觉得自己永远无法回头。
        也许你早已经忘却了那些你曾经的允诺,你自己认为一旦自己所谓的美好失去时任何的誓言都将变的虚无和遥远,这种遥远已经在你的灵魂中将你所有的希望啮嗜。你不知道自己的要走的路是什么样的路,只是你明白你存活的目的只是为了你的灵魂对另一个远逝灵魂的最后的安慰,你放不过自己,因此你的灵魂是异常的沉重,你总是说这是你的宿命,你的希望只是本能的生存,可是你对生存的概念模糊的让所有关注你的人不止一次的失望。你想梦境中的家园而你的灵魂却不会让你的记忆有停顿的时间。你知道那是你的承诺过于的遥远让你一次次地失望,你的记忆只是梦境中不断重复的轮回,也许你的强颜欢笑,你的冷漠的平静之下逆流的悲伤是你灵魂沉重唯一的注解,
        你常说梦里见了很多人,醒了只有你自己。可是你拒绝归程的缘由究竟是怎样的一种决绝我不知道,你一直希望自己终有一天会有回去的理由,可是你明白那只是你的理想的梦境而已,有些人和物一旦逝去就不会再来,永远的隐匿在灵魂的最深处将回忆隐匿。
        不能拥有自己想要的生活,不能拥有自己所谓的像风一样自由的生活。就这样生活,就这样感到没有归程的沉重。
        对不起,也许我不能跟你一起走下去。多么熟悉的一句话......
        就像昨天。

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